"You smell like booze." Four words you didn't want to hear from your parents when you were 17 and sneaking home past midnight, and you probably don't want to hear from your boss (or anyone) today. Unless, that is, it's about your perfume and there's an "mmm" thrown in there.
You see, right now, in the world of perfume, it's all about notes of bourbon, rum, and even limoncello. (But no stale vodka — phew.) The resulting fragrances feel dark, warm, and sensual — whether you like to kick back with a whiskey or herbal tea's more your speed.
Ahead, click through to shop seven boozy, intoxicating (but never hangover-inducing) scents.
Gin comes from juniper berries, which smell green, slightly bitter, and piney. Those are at the heart of Tom Ford's sexy Costa Azzurra, so it follows that the perfume reminds us of a good, expensive martini. Cheers!
Tom Ford Costa Azzurra, £148, available at Selfridges.
Feeling bubbly? Reach for this over-the-top, luxurious fragrance, which has a top note of Champagne followed by orange, gardenia, and honeysuckle.
Marc Jacobs Divide Decadence Eau de Parfum, £49, available at Debenhams.
We appreciate a product that gets straight to the point. Penhaligon's Juniper Sling is inspired by London dry gin, and has notes of juniper berry (which we've already established we love), brandy, and black cherry.
Penhaligon's Juniper Sling, £80, available at Penhaligon's.
Citrus is a common note in fragrances, but Byredo takes it up a notch, swapping bergamot for limoncello. Consider it the perfect digestif.
Byredo Oud Immortel Eau de Parfum, £90, available at Byredo.
Juniper, again, is a top note here, but the piney factor is dialled down quite a bit. Thanks to seaweed and musk, it's got a sexy, salty, seashore thing happening instead.
Davidoff Cool Water Ocean Extreme Eau de Toilette, £41, available at Boots.
Spritz on this blend of whiskey, rum, leather, and tobacco; close your eyes; and feel yourself transported to the back room of a New Orleans speakeasy in the 1920s.
Maison Margiela Replica Eau de Toilette Spray in Jazz Club, £85, available at Selfridges.
With notes of heady tuberose, deep oakwood, and comforting vanilla bourbon, this new scent would feel right at home on your bar cart, but looks even better on your vanity.
Elizabeth and James Nirvana Bourbon, $85 (£64), available at Sephora.
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Women have been reportedly banned from swimming in a gym's pool while they are on their period.
A sign in the women's changing rooms at the Vake Swimming Pool and Fitness Club in Tbilisi, Georgia, read: "Dear Ladies! Do not go to the pool during periods," ITV News reported.
One gym member took to social media to express her outrage at the sign. Sophie Tabatadze posted an image of the sign on Facebook and accused the centre of misogyny.
"Do you even realise how offensive this is?" she posted, before asking whether women would be eligible for a discount if they are forbidden from using the pool for up to six days each month.
"And, by the way, since according to your rules we are not allowed to use a swimming pool 5-6 days each month, do we get a preferential price compared with men? #mysogyny#mysogynyinaction [sic]"
Any woman with a period will know that wearing a tampon or menstrual cup while swimming is generally a seamless process and rarely results in leakage.
Not to mention the fact that for many women, swimming is an effective and safe way to ease menstrual cramps and other pain caused by periods.
However, responding to Tabatadze's allegations of sexism, the gym said it was "protecting" members after an incident in which a woman “contaminated” the pool with menstrual blood,ITV News reported.
Tabatadze said menstruation has "nothing to do with hygiene", adding that: "When you go into a public swimming pool you should accept certain level of germs. And since when are men exemplary clean creatures?" reported ITV News.
Periods should be the least of our worries when it comes to swimming pool hygiene. According to research, the average person contributes at least 0.14 grams of "fecal matter" to the water, and tests show it's awash with sweat, urine and beauty products.
Time to start saving for a personal swimming pool.
I felt pangs of anxiety as I sat in aesthetician Mary Schook 's office, waiting for what would be one of the more unexpected beauty treatments I had ever undergone. I couldn't help but think: This woman is about to exfoliate my face with a razor...what if she slips? Then, my name was called.
To buy myself a bit more time, I masked my nervousness in a shroud of professional curiosity and proceeded to ask Schook a laundry list of questions about what I could expect from dermaplaning — a treatment that involves exfoliating one's face with a sharp razor.
Thankfully, my anxiety waned as she broke it down for me and I settled into her plush operating chair. To be clear, my nerves weren't for a lack of trust: Schook's a licensed aesthetician, product formulator, founder of M.S. Apothecary, and bona fide "face whisperer." (The latter is according to a former colleague.) But still, a razor? Well, it turns out, the procedure is actually pretty simple and totally pain-free.
To begin, Schook cleansed and moisturised my skin. Once my skin was prepped, she applied a light layer of emollient gel to my skin — this provided the necessary "slippage" for smooth dermaplaning. So basically, a very fancy shaving cream. Then, Schook brought out the pièce de résistance: a slender, sanitised razor.
She used this razor to gently scrape the surface of my skin, taking bits of dead skin and dirt away with each motion. I learned that if all goes well, this procedure is meant to give me smoother, brighter, and more even skin — not to mention eliminate all unwanted peach fuzz and facial hair. "After dermaplaning, your skin-care products absorb better and your follicles are less likely to fill up with dead skin, oil, and debris," she explained.
The entire process took less than 40 minutes and Schook was very careful to use feather-like strokes to avoid irritating my sensitive visage. But there were still a few bumps in the road — namely, my acne. Dermaplaning over any acne can further irritate it and spread bacteria, causing pimples to become more red and inflamed. This is why she avoided any areas of my face with fully formed or budding zits.
Once Schook was satisfied with my skin, she rubbed an antibacterial serum and moisturiser onto my visage. When I looked in the mirror, I was shocked at how smooth my skin looked. The change wasn't drastic, but the texture of my skin had definitely improved.
At home, my aftercare was simple: Avoid makeup for the rest of the day, stick to a gentle cleansing routine, and keep the skin hydrated. Heeding her advice, that evening, I washed my face with a gentle clay cleanser, slapped on a bit of Pixi's Glow Tonic toner (it contains witch hazel to disinfect skin and aloe vera to soothe it), and finished off with a light layer of hydrating rosehip oil. In the morning, I noticed my skin looked more radiant and my makeup went on smoother and more even than the day before.
After dermaplaning, your skin-care products absorb better and your follicles are less likely to fill up with dead skin, oil, and debris.
According to Schook, dermaplaning in New York City can cost anywhere between $150 (£115) and $250 (£195) — which can get expensive fast, seeing as Schook recommends having the procedure done once a week for optimal results. "A weekly regimen will guarantee better skin after four weeks," she says.
That doesn't mean you can't get the same results at home — you just have to be very careful. Schook is a fan of the Dermaflash Facial Exfoliating Device, an at-home dermaplaning gadget. "They have a pre- and post-care [cream] that prevents troubled skin," she says.
She also has clients who perform their own dermaplaning using brow razors, but it's not really the same thing, as a professional experience will provide a slightly deeper exfoliation due to the sharp carbon or carbon-steel blades that most doctors, nurses, and aestheticians use.
Whether you've opted for a professional or at-home treatment, be sure to take excellent care of your skin after having it done. Avoid putting on any makeup directly after you've dermaplaned and be sure to effectively cleanse and moisturise skin daily and nightly. It's also important to remember that dermaplaning is your weekly exfoliation. This means you should avoid using any manual or chemical exfoliants, as this could irritate your skin.
At the end of the day, dermaplaning is essentially just a fancy word for face shaving. According to Schook, men who shave regularly experience a host of skin benefits due to the exfoliation performed by their razors. When done safely, this can be an effective way to achieve brighter, smother, fuzz-free skin.
Personally, due to the fact that I still have consistent acne flare-ups on my cheeks and chin, this procedure isn't one I'd shell out for or perform on myself weekly. But for anyone who has clearer skin and feels the need for a little brightening action, this treatment will definitely deliver.
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Update: Not only are quite a few Rio Olympians on Tinder, they're also getting in lots of swiping action at the Olympic Village. In an interview with The Associated Press, Tinder spokeswoman Rosette Pambakian said that matches in the Olympic Village, where most athletes live and eat during the games, were up by 129% over the weekend. Whether or not any of these matches blossom into gold-medal worthy romances remains to be seen.
This article was originally published on August 8, 2016.
If you think that celebrities are exempt from a dating world dominated by swiping left and right and inventing witty opening messages, you are mistaken.
First, Zac Efron shocked the world when he revealed that he had a Tinder account (and no one matched with him). And now, there's an Instagram account with the sole purpose of showing which pro athletes have Tinder and Bumble profiles.
@Sportsswipe, also known as "Tinder Athletes," says that all images on its account were taken directly from Tinder and Bumble — and they do look convincingly real. (The account also links out to a Rio-specific account called @Rioswipe, which covers Tinder in the Rio Olympic Athlete Village.)
A photo posted by Tinder Athletes (@sportsswipe) on
The accounts raise some inevitable questions. First, when do these world-class athletes have time to swipe and send messages back and forth? And second, is it a breach of privacy for an Instagram account to expose their profiles?
That second question is one that will likely remain contested. On the one hand, these athletes deserve their privacy, even if their accounts do exist on a public app. At the same time, maybe Sportsswipe will lead to some Olympic matches made in heaven.
Either way, it's hard to believe that Olympians have trouble getting a date. And yes, for anyone wondering, Ryan Lochte does have a verified Tinder account.
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
Eating breakfast in the morning has become something of a luxury. We're so rushed trying to get to work that even adding one more step to our routine can make us late . Maybe we'll grab a bite when we manage to find an extra 10 minutes to whip up a meal or buy something on the way to the office. But, there is a better solution to our breakfast woes — jars!
Just take a few minutes to prep (which you can even do the night before) and then bring one with you to eat at the office. Hardly any time lost and, plus, now breakfast will pair perfectly with the jars we've already been obsessively making for snacks and lunch. Ahead, find five Mason jar breakfasts that will change your mornings for the better.
What You'll Need:
Milk (any kind)
Chia seeds
Honey
Raspberries
Blueberries
Chopped walnuts
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
Assemble:
Mix together 1 cup milk (any kind), 2 tablespoons chia seeds, and 2 teaspoons honey. Refrigerate for 4 hours. Top with fresh berries and chopped nuts.
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
You can make a week's worth of chia-seed pudding on Sunday, and simply add the berries and nuts in the mornings before work.
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
What You'll Need:
Frozen banana
Frozen strawberries
Greek yogurt
Almond milk
Orange juice
Fresh strawberry slices
Fresh banana slices
Dried coconut
Chopped pistachios
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
Assemble:
Blend together 1 frozen banana, 1 handful frozen strawberries (or more to taste), 1 to 2 heaping spoonfuls Greek yogurt, almond milk to taste, and orange juice to taste. Pour into jars and top with fresh strawberry slices, fresh banana slices, sweetened dried coconut, and chopped pistachios.
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
You can do this with any smoothie and combo of fruit and nut toppings.
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
What You'll Need:
Sliced cucumbers
Sliced lox
Cream cheese
Mini bagel(s)
Dill
Sliced red onion
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
Assemble:
Layer cream cheese, sliced cucumbers, lox, red onions, and mini bagels in a jar.
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
Sandwiches get soggy by the time we get to work, but this jar version lets you assemble whenever, wherever.
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
What You'll Need:
Frozen banana slices
Frozen grapes
Frozen mango cubes
Frozen blueberries
Frozen chocolate chips
Greek yogurt
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
Assemble:
Freeze banana slices, grapes, mango cubes, blueberries, and chocolate chips on a baking sheet for 2 to 4 hours, or until frozen. Layer Greek yogurt and mix in frozen chocolate chips on the bottom of the jar. Top with frozen fruit.
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
We love eating this morning treat when the fruit is still icy-cold, but you could also use the fruit as a way to keep your breakfast cold on the commute to the office.
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
What You'll Need:
Rolled oats
Milk or water
Grated cheddar cheese
Chopped scallions
Bacon crumbles
Salt & pepper
Salsa
Sour cream
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
Assemble:
Mix together equal parts oats and liquid in a jar: 1/2 to 1 cup rolled oats and 1/2 to 1 cup milk or water (depending on size of jar and how much you want!). Refrigerate for several hours or overnight. When ready to eat, microwave oatmeal (without the jar lid) until hot. Top with salt and pepper, cheddar cheese, bacon bits, chopped scallions, and other toppings, to taste.
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
We love this savoury take on overnight oats, but you can top the equal parts oats to liquid ratio with anything you want. Sweet, savoruy, or even a mix of the two! Try a bunch of combos until you find your favourite.
Photographed by Ted Cavanaugh; food styling by Brett Kurzweil at Art Department; prop styling by Marissa Herrmann.
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You can't hide anything from an aesthetician. Every single time I go for a facial, they wash my makeup off, examine my bare face, and they know. There's no point in lying: They know I'm not really "prone to ingrowns" between my brows (I just pick the skin). They can tell the dark circles under my eyes are exacerbated by my wine consumption. And they always, always call out the clogged pores I've tried to extract myself.
That was the case last weekend, when I went for a facial at the Erno Laszlo Institute. (P.S.: If you ever get the chance, GO. It was the most thorough, relaxing treatment of my life.) Eliana Restrepo, the aesthetician tending to my skin, immediately zeroed in on a small whitehead on the bridge of my nose. "You tried to get this," she said matter-of-factly.
"No, I mean, I just barely squeezed..." I trailed off. I had thought the evidence of my aggressive late-night surgery on the thing with an extraction tool had disappeared, but Restrepo said that since I had ripped the skin, but hadn't succeeded in getting all the sebum out, she'd now have to make it worse to make it better. Oops.
In the grand scheme of understanding extractions, Restrepo explained that the first thing to know is that our pores are actually hair follicles. While we don't think of the ones on our face as being the same as the ones on our scalp or legs, since the hair is soft and often imperceptible, they actually are. "Hair grows in all different directions, but when you squeeze a clogged pore yourself in front of the mirror, you only squeeze horizontally. When a professional does it, they can tell what angle to go at it from," she said. Makes total sense.
In my defence, I've had plenty of derms and facialists tell me it's never a good idea to do my own extractions — I get it, I do — but I'm being realistic here: If something pops up, I'm going to pick it. Blackhead extraction tools, I figured, are a better alternative to my fingers, right? "Maybe," says Restrepo, "but no one uses them correctly."
So, what are we doing wrong? "People have a tendency to be too aggressive in trying to remove debris and end up causing a lot of inflammation, which makes acne look worse," says dermatologist Elizabeth Tanzi, MD, and founder and director of Capital Laser & Skin Care. "The key is to not put too much pressure on the skin by dragging the tool across the surface of the skin, which can cause tearing of the skin."
Instead, gently press down around the clogged pore using the smallest loop. If the blackhead or whitehead doesn't budge, Dr. Tanzi recommends leaving it alone and using a product with retinol to help loosen it.
Now, back to the smallest loop detail. That's the only end you should be using if you insist on using the tool, says Restrepo. "The larger one is for bigger areas, like the back." (Which you shouldn't attempt, because you don't know which direction, and how far back, the blockage is starting from.) As for that sharp lance, meant to pierce whiteheads, we can't emphasise it enough: Stay away! You should never do anything that will break the skin.
Facialist Joanna Vargas, founder of Joanna Vargas Salon and Skincare, isn't a big fan of the tool, either. Instead, she recommends showering to soften blackheads and whiteheads, and then applying gentle pressure around the pore using two cotton swabs. Vargas' other tip: "Baking soda is awesome for getting rid of blackheads when mixed with water. You can put the mixture on the nose after the shower and all the blackheads come right out!"
The moral of the story is: By all means, get a blackhead extractor, but be damn confident in your impulse control and pressure gauge beforehand — and never use the lance!
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"People think that I’m saving myself," Lesli tells me. There's both amusement and exasperation in her voice. "Typically, it’s tied to Jesus, which, you know, him and I are friends, I don’t really have a problem with him...[but] that's not what I'm doing."
Lesli is a 25-year-old Texas native, incoming law school student, abortion rights activist, and Beyoncé fan. She has also never been sexually active, and this fact about her has a tendency to overshadow the others. "I don’t have a problem telling people that I’m a virgin," she says. "I feel like other people have a problem with it, therefore I don’t talk about it that much, because I've had a lot of people be like, ' You? But you’re in law school and and you wear makeup.'"
"I can possess a hymen and still know how to do a cat eye!" she adds.
I first connected with Lesli after I wrote a column on how losing my virginity taught me that sex doesn't have to be unwanted to be not the sex you want. In other words, my first time wasn't great. My 19-year-old response was to dye my light hair jet-black in a friend's bathroom sink a few days later (change your hair, change your life?), but this adjustment didn't erase my impression that I had squandered some precious, irretrievable commodity on an undeserving recipient; that process took time and perspective and the thoroughly good sex I fortunately went on to have. Part of moving on was telling myself that first times are very often endured instead of enjoyed, and that they open the door to more fulfilling sexual experiences. That's exactly what Lesli reached out to tell me she doesn't want. She is a virgin — what she calls a "secular virgin" — for a very simple reason: not because she has taken a vow of abstinence or has never been presented with a sexual opportunity, but because she has never been presented with a sexual opportunity that appealed to her. And she sees no reason to act on one that doesn't.
In our generation, she is far from alone in abstaining. A study published last week in the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour rocked the internet with its finding that millennials born in the 1990s are twice as likely as the preceding generation to have had zero sexual partners in young adulthood, or since turning 18. The drop in sexual activity is particularly pronounced among women, with the percentage of women who have been sexually inactive in young adulthood tripling between Gen X women and 1990s-born millennial and "iGen" women. Experts have pointed to a handful of potential reasons: We spend more time behind screens and less time interacting IRL; we are more focused on academic and professional achievements than sexual conquests; we are wary of STIs and rape. Another possible explanation: Young people are pickier than our predecessors about the sexual activity in which we engage. We're waiting for people or situations we really like.
Sometimes, we're looking in the wrong place, as Katie Heaney, author of the book Never Have I Ever: My Life So Far Without A Date, now knows she once was. Just after the book, Heaney's account of her lifelong single status, was published in 2014, Heaney shared her feelings about being a 27-year-old virgin on the podcast "Death, Sex & Money": "I really don't like it," she said. "And I also hate that I don’t like it. Because that feels like conceding that it bothers me and that I am susceptible to the opinions of others." Last month, Katie returned to the podcast to update listeners on her love life, which has taken a positive turn: Katie realised that she is gay, and she is now dating a woman. She has never had intercourse — "my girlfriend's like, 'Well technically that makes you a gold star,' which is a lesbian who has never had sex with men," she said — but she understandably no longer identifies as a virgin. "Now, I feel like I can be like, 'Well, I was not pleased with the offerings,'" she said. "I was not into what I thought was available to me."
And here's the thing: Not only women who are attracted to women, but also women who are attracted to men, can lack enthusiasm about the offerings. On its face, virginity is obvious. You are a virgin if you've never "had sex." It's when you ask what constitutes sex that things get murky. Are you a virgin if you engage in everything but intercourse (or, perhaps, "half a virgin," as Mean Girls ' Regina George put it)? Or are you only one if, like Lesli, you have never engaged in any kind of sex — manual, oral, or vaginal? Are women who have sex with women and don't have intercourse "virgins"? The fact that this seems absurd suggests that virginity is defined, at least in part, by context. "Virgin" is that rare label we assign based on what someone doesn't do instead of what they do; we have no equivalent phrase for the opposite, for a sex-haver, because we don't assume that a single label could possibly describe all of the many people having many kinds of sex.
But there are many — perhaps just as many — ways of not having sex as having it, and the stereotypes we have developed about abstinence and those who engage in it are cripplingly narrow. When you think of a "virgin," who springs to mind? Is she hyper-religious, wearing a purity ring and a judgmental frown? Is he anxious and awkward, sacrificing social interaction for action figures à la Steve Carrell's Andy Stitzer in The 40-Year-Old Virgin?
And then there's the assumption that people who are abstinent must also be devoid of desire. "It’s almost like people tie virginity with asexuality," Lesli notes. "While asexuality is something that is real for a lot of people, it's not for me... I just haven’t found somebody." Nor has Lesli experienced same-sex attraction, she says, and yes, she has been in love, thank you for asking, but she didn't feel ready to express that love sexually. Sexually repressed? It's not that, either. "I masturbate," she says. "I really enjoy being at one with my nakedness — I’m very pro-naked. I like seeing my body... I know what kind of sex I want to have, and therefore I know I couldn’t have had that type of sex when I was 18, 21, 22. It just wasn’t possible."
"Virgin" is a label you shed by doing something that there are countless reasons you might not want or might not be able to do. Maybe you're queer and you haven't yet had the opportunity to express your sexual identity; maybe you're asexual and you're already expressing it. Maybe you have chosen to wait for marriage; maybe you are struggling with a mental health problem, or you are differently abled and can't physically have intercourse.
And maybe you just don't think it's too much to ask that your first time be enjoyable, and you haven't found a prospective partner who makes you feel confident it will be. I had my first kiss at junior prom — a little later than my friends, but at a pivotal American Teen Moment nonetheless, and during a slow song, exactly the way movies had instructed me to — because I didn't want to be The Girl Who Has Never Been Kissed. I had sex for the first time because I didn't want to be The Girl Who Has Never Had Sex. I followed the scripts, and I didn't much enjoy either experience. And I admire the choice to hold out for something more fulfilling: not marriage or love, necessarily, but pleasure, reciprocity, agency, and yes, maybe even romance. "I still want the person I have sex with to give me flowers," Lesli says. "It almost is kind of lame to be like, 'I want the fairy tale,' but it’s also kind of super empowering to be like, ‘I want the fairy tale, because I have masturbated on my own and I know what I like and I know what I would be excited to try.'"
"I feel like sometimes as women, or just people who don’t identify as straight, cis men, we’re kind of expected to get what you get and then keep moving forward until you get what you want," she adds, "and it’s like, 'Well, can’t I just get what I want the first time around?'"
In response to the idea that Lesli should "just get it over with," or that the first time is "never good," she's asking, But why? "People who are sexually active get this wide variety of narratives, all of these really awesome intersectional narratives and identities that weave into their lives and are very exciting to see expressed," Lesli points out, but "the sexual revolution also includes me. I may not include somebody else in my revolution, but I’m still active. I still engage with sexuality. I still engage with sexual expression." That kind of critical engagement with the sexual scripts we're handed deserves respect. The idea that someone's decision to abstain from sex implies any one set of character traits, meanwhile, is not only misguided, it is silencing. And ultimately, the more license we give others to set the terms of their sex lives — whatever they do or don't include — the more permission we give ourselves to do the same.
The Bed Post is a series that explores what holds us back from sex and love with whom we want, when we want, where we want, and how we want — because we all deserve sex and love lives that are not only free of evils, but full of what is good. Follow me on Twitter at @hlmacmillen or email me at hayley.macmillen@refinery29 — I’d love to hear from you.
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According to statistics from the charity Rape Crisis, approximately 85,000 women and 12,000 men are raped in England and Wales each year, which works out at roughly 11 rapes (per adult) every hour. Moreover, approximately half a million adults are survivors of sexual assault. In 2012-13, 22,654 cases of rape and sexual assault committed against minors were reported, although the NSPCC believe the unreported numbers of sex crimes to be much higher.
Shockingly, only around 15% of sexual assaults are ever reported to the police – with that figure falling to an even lower percentage the younger the victim. Approximately 90% of survivors of sexual assault know their attacker – meaning, rather depressingly – friends, family members, work colleagues and acquaintances are more of a danger to us than the proverbial stranger in a dark alleyway.
Sadly, familiarity with one’s attacker is often the biggest culprit behind the low incidence of reporting sex crimes. Officially telling someone can be a harrowing and difficult prospect – sometimes more so when the perpetrator is known to them.
Joanna*, 23, was raped by her older brother’s best friend of twenty-five years when he walked her home from a boozy barbecue last summer. The attack happened in her flat when he invited himself in for a nightcap.
She recalls: “I’d known S* literally my whole life. He was like an older brother to me. We’d been on family holidays and grown up together. He spent so much time at our family home, he had his own set of keys. The night he raped me, things were no different to how they’d ever been. One minute we were laughing and joking about the football, the next he was on top of me. I tried desperately to talk him out of it, even joking with him at first, but it did no good.”
After hiding the assault for 24 hours (a critical window for obtaining physical evidence), Judy confessed it to her mum. Added to the trauma of reporting the rape, Joanna also felt enormous guilt at her brother’s anguish – he blamed himself.
She admits, “I might have thought twice about reporting it if I hadn’t been sure my family would have believed and supported me. But still, it’s made a massive crack in my family, and though I know I’m the victim, I feel terrible about it.”
When you talk to those who have experienced sex crimes, fear and guilt seem to be very common reactions, which is rather telling about how society often views these types of crime – rarely do victims who have been, say, mugged express guilt or worry they were responsible. Moreover, if we had our mobile phone or wallet stolen, very few of us would be hesitant to report it to the police. Another common fear victims of sex crimes have, is the fear they either won’t be believed and/or will either be dismissed by or treated badly by the police.
There are still many myths and misconceptions about what happens in police custody and beyond when you report a sex crime, so I went to speak to DI Neil J. Smithson who works in the Sapphire Unit at the Met Police in London. The Sapphire Unit deals with allegations of rape and serious sexual offences (i.e. assault by penetration.) The Sapphire Unit is specifically affiliated to sex crimes committed in London, although every city will have their own equivalent unit.
The initial reporting of sex crimes most commonly happens in one of two ways: the victim will go directly into a police station to report it, or it will be referred to the police via a second party like The Havens or Rape Crisis. In the first instance the victim will speak to a uniformed officer, who will just want to establish the who/what/when/how of the crime.
From there, Sapphire (or the equivalent) will be contacted and the victim will be assigned a SOIT (Sexual Offences Investigative Techniques) Officer who will both support the victim and give them advice. If the crime has occurred in the last seven days, the victim will be offered a forensic examination at a Haven – specialist centres for victims of sex crimes. Smithson is keen to emphasise these centres are “not cold and clinical” and “very sympathetic to the needs of the victim.” There are specialists who specifically deal with LGBT victims, sex workers, men, mothers etc. – so Haven certainly does what it can to recognise the individual needs of each victim.
What happens next in the process is largely down to the victim – sometimes they decline to have the case taken further. The reasons behind this are varied and complex: reluctance to because the crime took place in a domestic setting at the hands of someone known to them, fear of the court process, low conviction rates, or feeling like reporting it was cathartic enough.
However, if the victim does want to take the case further, the DI (Detective Inspector) attached to the case has to make the decision whether to submit the case to the courts. DI Smithson approximates only 20% of sex crime cases ever make it to court, which does seem very low, but the conviction process is a complex business. The most common reason for a sex crime not making it to court is down to the person who has been raped’s decision not to take it forward, but there is also sometimes a "realistic prospect of prosecution" test applied. In the cases where the DI feels there is little chance of prosecution, they might decline to submit the case to court.
Giving evidence in court is undoubtedly stressful for the victim. They are expected to give detailed evidence of the crime and questions deemed to be relevant will get asked. It is common for the person who has been raped to be cross-examined on how much alcohol or drugs were consumed (if relevant), their relationship with the perpetrator (if relevant) and so on. However, Smithson is keen to emphasise how much the rules have been tightened up in recent years regarding cross examination. Character assassinations of the alleged victim are not allowed, and questions not pertinent to the case are prohibited – for example, irrelevant questions about sexual history.
How both the police and courts deal with sex crimes is never going to be either simple or perfect. The nature of sex crime usually means it is one person’s word against another, and unless there is a confession (which is rare), it then involves a complex gathering of evidence and statements. This can include everything from forensic evidence, witness statements, CCTV footage, which together will influence whether the case is submitted to the courts.
My morning with the police gave me the distinct impression the police are very ‘pro-victim’ and keen to significantly increase reporting and conviction rates in the UK.
Smithson explains current improvements being made to the court system, which make it less stressful for the rape survivor giving evidence, including applying (to the judge) for a screen for the survivor to give evidence behind, or giving evidence via video link. Indeed, there is currently a pilot scheme being tested in one London court where the survivor can give evidence and be cross-examined upfront and by video, which precludes them from attending the trial in person.
However, perhaps the biggest change that needs to be made to encourage people who have been through sex crimes to come forward is universal better education and information. Young (and older) people need to be educated around important issues like consent, what constitutes a sex crime, grooming and good online behaviour. As a society as a whole, we could perhaps do better in seeing "victims" of sex crimes as victims, and not finding ways to blame them. We need to understand that sex crimes are complex, and one does not need to include violence, a dark alley or a terrifying stranger for it to be taken seriously as a crime.
Over the last few years, things have certainly improved, and survivors of sex crimes are treated far more fairly and humanely – but the statistics speak an undeniable truth – we still have a long way to go in getting more convictions for sex crimes.
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WHAT HAPPENED: Before the age of Manolos and Mr. Big, SJP was best known as the ex of Robert Downey Jr. and for small but hilarious performances in The First Wives Club and Mars Attacks! The older millennials out there may also remember her as that angel-voiced flirty witch we all wanted to be in Hocus Pocus. Broderick was the brat-pack star who had moved on to a big career on Broadway. The couple met when they worked at the same theatre company (natch) and hit it off immediately. Shunning the spotlight, their nuptials took place on a Monday night: a very low-key civil ceremony in one of New York’s oldest, deconsecrated synagogues. Broderick’s sister, an episcopalian priest, performed the vows.
THE DRESS: Once confessing to Marie Claire that she was "too embarrassed to get married in white", Parker shunned convention and opted for a black, ruffled Morgane Le Fay dress paired with teal velvet Robert Clergerie shoes. No Westwood or bird headpiece in sight!
THE GUESTS: Keeping all details meticulously under wraps, a select group of 100 guests turned up at the venue expecting a party and instead were surprised with a wedding. No reported celebrity guests but apparently in a nod to the couples’ Broadway credentials, show tunes were sung very loudly until 2am.
HAPPILY EVER AFTER? Abso-fuckin-lutely! Although they’ve remained famously tight-lipped about the inner goings on of their relationship, Broderick and Parker are still heralded as one of Hollywood’s strongest partnerships, having been married 19 years with three children and a fabulous array of homes in New York’s West Village, The Hamptons and Ireland. The secret to their success? Broderick once revealed in an interview: "We really are friends beyond everything else.”
Bottom line, girls with naturally fine hair usually wish it was thicker and girls with naturally thick hair usually wish it was finer. Sigh. But if you’re on the flat-fighting side and have had a major falling out with your hair recently because it’s too sleek, too fine, too lifeless, too URGH, take a deep breath and step away from the mirror (and razor?) for a minute.
While we can’t change the natural texture of your hair, we can give you some useful tips on how to make it look thicker than it really is. Some might see this as cheating. We like to call it essential information for flat-haired girls on the edge. From how to style it up(wards) to the sneaky snip tricks to ask for at the salon, read on to discover how easy it is to give fine hair a boost and why your natural texture is actually pretty cool.
The Cut
It’s amazing what clever illusions your hair stylist can create with a simple trim; “You want to try and keep as much of the weight as possible to create a full, voluminous look,” says Lauren Benjamin, head of NVQ education at Headmasters. “Ask for a style with a strong base line and clean, sharp edges.” Stay clear of layers: “Some people think that they give the impression of fuller hair but if they are too short, it’s hard to get volume into the blow dry meaning the hair will lie flatter,” Luke Benson, artistic director at D&J Ambrose says. On shorter ‘dos, he advises you should ask for lots of texture. “A finishing product like wax clay will then give the hair more height afterwards.”
Photo: David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock.
The Tools
While they may seem old-fashioned, velcro rollers are actually brilliant for lifting up roots; “Blow-dry your hair in sections, without making any partings,” advises Lauren Benjamin. “Wrap each top section around the roller while the hair is still warm. Once it has completely cooled, the hair will set in its elevated position creating more volume when the roller is removed.” Try Boots Essentials Large Sleep Rollers £5.19
Similarly, your hair hue can easily trick people into thinking your hair is naturally thick. “Avoid all over-colour as this doesn’t show off any texture and can look flat,” explains Luke. “Darker panels or low lights will help to add dimension and depth to the hair,” says Jack Howard at Paul Edmonds and L’Oréal Professionnel UK colour spokesperson. “For those who prefer to stay blonde, ask your colourist to add some darker blonde tones throughout your hair for a multi-dimensional, thicker looking finish,” he adds. If you regularly colour your hair, treat it to a weekly hydrating hair mask as brittle ends can make fine hair look even thinner.
Photo: Lovekin/WWD/REX/Shutterstock.
The Products
Get your flat-hair kit in check. “Hair powders are perfect for adding volume at the root and a volumising spray is ideal for fine hair as it’s so light-weight,” says Jamie Stevens, celebrity hairdresser. “A hairspray helps to make volume last as long as possible.” But the secret weapon is dry shampoo – every girl’s best friend, fine hair or not. “The professional ones have moved on so much that they’re no longer just about covering greasy hair,” explains Luke Benson. “They leave a powdery foundation on the root that helps the blow dry last longer, preventing the hair from flattening, plus the gritty texture gives a fuller finish.” Try Unite Expanda Dust, £17.30, Redken Body Full Volume Amplifier, £17, TIGI Bed Head Full Of It Volume Finishing Spray, £14.50 and Colab Extreme Volume Dry Shampoo London £2.50.
The Blow Dry
Did you know that your blow dry starts as early as in the shower? “Try the "reverse shampoo", advises Luke. That means conditioning your hair first, then washing it. “It helps rough up the hair shaft leaving it with more volume, with the added benefit of having been conditioned.” Then once you’ve applied the necessary products, the hard work is down to your blow dry technique. “Take a section of hair and as you dry, pull it directly up at a 90 degree angle from the head, using a large round brush,” explains Jamie. “Roll the brush down from the ends towards your roots, hold it there then blast with cool air before unwrapping and leaving it to cool. Do that all over and the volume will stay at the root because of how you’ve lifted your hair as you’ve dried it.”
Photo: David Fisher/REX/Shutterstock.
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At least four people have died and many have been injured after a series of co-ordinated bomb blasts in Thailand tourist hotspots.
Four bombs exploded in Hua Hin, a town south of Bangkok, in the last 24 hours, where two people have died, the BBC reported.
One person has been announced dead in Surat Thani, which was hit by two explosions, and another person has been announced dead in Trang after an explosion there. There have been blasts in the beach province of Phang Nga.
Several explosions have also been reported on the island of Phuket, a major tourist destination.
It's unclear who carried out the attacks but, according to the BBC, people are likely to point the finger at separatist insurgents. Police have ruled out international terrorism.
Thai prime minister Prayut Chan-o-cha called for security to be stepped up across popular tourist and urban areas, The Guardian reported.
Tourists have been advised to be cautious in the country. The British and Spanish governments advised travellers to avoid public places, reported The Guardian.
This is a breaking news story which will be updated with more details as they emerge.
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The Yorkshire Ripper, who murdered 13 women and attempted to kill seven more, has spent 32 years in Broadmoor psychiatric hospital after being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in 1984.
But Peter Sutcliffe, who now calls himself Peter Coonan, is to be transferred to a prison after being deemed no longer mentally ill, the BBC reported.
Sutcliffe targeted women in Greater Manchester and Yorkshire for five years in the late 1970s. Most of his victims were prostitutes, who he mutilated before beating them to death.
Sutcliffe, a former lorry driver, was caught after police found him in his car with a prostitute, a fake licence plate and weapons including a screwdriver and hammer.
He was given 20 life sentences for his crimes in 1981 and spent three years in a prison on the Isle of Wight before receiving his mental illness diagnosis and being transferred to high-security Broadmoor. He has been there ever since.
At the time of his trial, three psychiatrists who assessed him said his illness drove him to kill, along with a belief that he was on a “divine mission ".
However, a mental health tribunal has now said the 70-year-old is sane enough to return to prison.
Some have previously pointed out that there is no cure for schizophrenia, only treatment to manage the symptoms, and there is no guarantee Sutcliffe won't become unwell again. He will likely need to be closely monitored by mental health professionals during the transition between institutions.
Others weren't surprised by the tribunal ruling to move Sutcliffe back to prison.
Dr Stephen Shaw, a retired criminal psychiatrist who interviewed Sutcliffe after his arrest, told the BBC he saw him in Armley, a prison in Leeds, when he was on remand.
"He was no more a schizophrenic than I was. I thought this guy was not mentally ill," Shaw added.
The mental health tribunal's decision will need to be approved by the Ministry of Justice (MOJ) before the murderer can be moved.
"Decisions over whether prisoners are to be sent back to prison from secure hospitals are based on clinical assessments made by independent medical staff.
"The High Court ordered in 2010 that Peter Coonan should never be released. This was upheld by the Court of Appeal.
"Our thoughts are with Coonan's victims and their families," the spokesman added.
September 1979: Six of the young women murdered by Peter Sutcliffe, known as the Yorkshire Ripper. Top left to right; Vera Millward, Jayne MacDonald, Josephine Whittaker and bottom left to right; Jean Royle, Helga Rytka and Barbara Leach.Photo: Getty Images.
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Camila Coutinho was Brazil’s first fashion blogger, starting Garotas Estupidas in 2006 – the same year Twitter launched. On the vanguard of style and culture, Camila’s blog now receives 8.7 million views per year, and she’s become an international authority on chic living.
Currently in Rio acting as Coca-Cola’s digital ambassador for the 2016 Games, Camila is also a general ambassador for the likes of MAC, Net-a-Porter and Diane Von Furstenberg. Suffice to say, she’s a well-connected woman. And, expectedly, a wonderful hostess, as we found out following her personalised Refinery29 guide to eating, drinking and unwinding in the hottest city in the world right now.
Rubaiyat is a very traditional steak restaurant with a great view overlooking the polo stadium as well the Cristo Redentor (Christ the Redeemer) and the palm trees from the Botanical Garden. The Queen's Beef is one of my favourite dishes.
Photo: Courtesy of Rubaiyat.
Bagatelle
Adding a Brazilian touch to French cuisine, Bagatelle is the place to be. The restaurant is in Rio de Janeiro’s Jockey Club and the menu is signed by Gustavo Young, a world-famous Brazilian chef who has worked in established restaurants around Europe. You can also extend your night with friends and enjoy the live DJ with a beautiful view.
Photo: Courtesy of Bagatelle.
Fasano Hotel
My favourite spot in Rio is the rooftop bar at the Fasano Hotel in Ipanema. It’s right in front of the beach and the pool bar is incredible, with excellent service. You can just sit with drinks and snacks and enjoy the most amazing view in Rio. It's an Instagram must!
Photo: Via @fasano.
Lagoa Rodrigo de Freitas
Just a few blocks from the ocean sits this beautiful, expansive lagoon called Lagoa Rodrigo de Freitas. Those looking to exercise away from the crowds can run around the perimeter on the designated jogging track, and luxury travellers will love the high-end bars, restaurants, lounges, and clubs that line the water at the complex called Lagoon. Or you can just enjoy the views!
Photo: Via @CamilaCourtinho.
Mr. Lam
This is the spot to see and be seen in Rio. At Mr. Lam you will find a high-end Chinese cuisine menu, with unique dishes and a nice atmosphere. My favourite item on the menu is the Maracana Prawns with Champagne, yummy.
Photo: Via @amibolsas
The Museum of Tomorrow – Museu do Amanha
Add a touch of culture to your trip visiting The Museum of Tomorrow. This futuristic museum takes you through time and space, from the cosmos to “now”. The incredible architecture sits upwards like a futuristic spaceship, making the building itself an end destination as much as the exhibitions inside.
Zaza
A jazzy gastro pub a block away from Ipanema Beach, Zaza serves up great contemporary Brazilian food and drinks. It's perfect for stepping off the beach for a meal, snack or cocktail and has a creative, artistic vibe. Watch out, it gets super buzzy around sunset.
Osklen
Osklen is one of the most recognisable Brazilian brands from Rio de Janeiro. The designer, Oskar Metsavaht, is very well-known for his amazing creations. His flagship store is a must in Rio de Janeiro but you can also find his stores in Japan, Miami and New York.
Photo: Via @oskeln
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We know you've been there. Watching a husband or wife cheat on their significant other in a TV show, tsk tsk'ing them out loud, shaking your head in disbelief that they would dare break their vows and stoop so low.
And then, secretly: You cheer on the cheaters, hoping the affair lasts as long as possible because more cheating means more irresistibly hot sex scenes.
We get it. Morally and IRL, there isn't much worse than adultery (and of course, we don't condone it). But... we must admit, it sure does make for good entertainment. So each week, we'll be rounding up some of the steamiest, hot-and-heavy small screen affairs. Go ahead, you know you want to. Click through the slideshow. We won't tell.
Carrie Mathison & Nicholas Brody
Homeland
Of course, this was already a steamy affair simply because of the chemistry between these two (and the fact that, despite having a wife, Brody was clearly crazy about Carrie). But what made it even more of a guilty pleasure? Brody's secret status as a double agent. We were mad at for being a traitor to his country — and for cheating on his wife. Although, technically his wife also cheated...but she thought he was dead...so, yea, this was a very complicated situation. And very hot.
Photo: Courtesy of Showtime.
The Affair
Noah Solloway and Allison Lockhart
Let's dive right in, shall we? As apparent by its title, Showtime's hit show centres on one major affair. But with this series, we see not just how the breaking of vows affects one marriage, but two. And even by seeing how it hurts all the parties involved, including children, we couldn't help but wait breathlessly for the sexy scenes on the beach...and in the shower...and in hotel rooms...
Photo: Showtime.
Scandal
Olivia Pope and Fitzgerald Grant
By now the will-they-won't-they, back-and-forth relationship between DC's fixer and (spoiler-alert) the once-married President of the United States is synonymous with, well, scandal. While it remains to be seen whether the not-so-secret lovers will ever run away together to make jam in Vermont, five seasons later, we still wait each week to see if Olivia um, visits the President in the Oval Office.
Photo: ABC.
Game of Thrones
Cersei and Jamie Lannister
In true Game of Thrones fashion, the show threw us a curve ball from the very first episode, introducing us to an icy queen who was cheating on her husband with...her brother. It doesn't get much creepier than incest, and yet somehow the electricity between the two is — dare we say...sexy. Shudder.
Photo: HBO.
Sex and the City
Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big
Of course, they end up together in the end (and eventually get married themselves in the movie). But remember when Mr. Big was married — to someone else — and Carrie was dating too-nice-for-her-own-good Aiden? Despite one wife and one boyfriend, Carrie and Big found their way to one another between the sheets. Even though it was so wrong, it felt so right. And hey, they ended up together in the end, so that makes it a little less wrong, right?
Photo: HBO.
House of Cards
Frank Underwood and Zoe Barnes
This was another affair that had major creep factor, perhaps because of their age difference, or perhaps because Frank was clearly using Zoe as as a pawn. But she was also using him for her own gain, and somehow their political ploys made for a hot, heavy, and dirty relationship.
Photo: Netflix.
How To Get Away With Murder
Annalise Keating and Nate Lahey
When we first met Annalise, we knew her as a married, no-nonsense lawyer and professor. But we quickly met her boy toy, a police officer named Nate who wasn't shy about showing Annalise his, uh...affection. Or, luckily for us, his abs.
Photo: ABC.
Breaking Bad
Skylar White and Ted Beneke
This was an affair to remember if only for the moment when Skylar, who has been ignored by her husband, Walter (while he was off running his little crystal meth empire) finally gives in to her temptations and gets some of the lovin' she deserves. We couldn't help but feel satisfied on her behalf when she admitted to her husband "I fucked Ted."
Photo: AMC.
Don Draper & Sylvia Rosen
Mad Men
Don Draper had quite a few wives — and trysts. But the most sensual was with his neighbour Sylvia, who was married herself. The palpable tension between the two every time they encountered one another in the elevator was enough for a pause and rewind — not to mention the actual sex scenes.
Photo: AMC.
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“In this day and age the feminist zealots really do want women to have their cake and eat it.
“They fight for their version of equality on all the things that suit women – but are very quick to point out that women need special protections and treatment on other things.”
No, this isn't a spotty men's rights activist talking to his 20 Youtube subscribers from his childhood bedroom.
These are the remarks of Philip Davies, the Conservative MP for Shipley, who recently spoke at a men's rights conference hosted by an anti-feminism political party, The Guardian revealed.
The MP, who represents nearly 70,000 people in parliament, also said the legal system in Britain discriminates against men and is biased towards women. Even in the face of stark evidence to the contrary.
Worryingly, Davies sits on the Justice Select Committee, which scrutinises the policies of the Ministry of Justice and how it is run.
“I don’t believe there’s an issue between men and women. The problem is being stirred up by those who can be described as militant feminists and the politically correct males who pander to this nonsense," he said.
“It seems to me that this has led to an ‘equality but only when it suits’ agenda that applies to women. The drive for women to have so-called equality on all the things that suit the politically correct agenda but not other things that don’t is of increasing concern to me."
Davies's parliamentary voting record shows he has consistently voted against policies promoting equality. He voted against workplace equality targets and in 2002 presented a private member’s bill that would have repealed the Sex Discrimination Act 2002, reported The Guardian.
People are aghast at his laughably outdated views and the fact he had the temerity to air them publicly as an MP for a mainstream party.
I am proud to call myself a feminist. Philip Davies' remarks are truly ignorant. https://t.co/CDL7BS1YCX
The party was founded in 2013 by retired business consultant Mike Buchanan to oppose feminism.
"Only a small minority of women are feminists," according to the party's Wordpress blog. "They seek gender supremacy, regardless of the impact on men, women, boys, girls, families, public institutions, and wider society. They are driven by misandry (the hatred of men)."
OK then.
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I remember exactly where I was on my 19th birthday: teaching summer school to rising first-graders, in a room with no AC, just box fans. Which is to say, pretty much the opposite of how Kylie Jenner commemorated her big day. Or should I say big month?
I, along with the rest of Kylie's millions of followers, got a front-row seat to the celebrations, thanks to Snapchat and Instagram. And let me just say, it was a far cry from my day spent corralling 6-year-olds. In true Jenner-Kardashian fashion, Kylie spared no expense. The birthday girl has been in full-on party mode for the past few weeks, with everything from new puppies to new cars to mark the occasion.
So how much does a 19th birthday cost when you're a Jenner? Click through to see what we've tallied up for just some of Kylie's amazing birthday presents. Just one question: What the heck is she going to do to celebrate turning 21?
Land Rover SVAutobiography
Cost: $199,495
Kylie started the holiday by gifting herself with a new car, estimated to be worth nearly $200,000. Kind of like how I treat myself at Sephora when I stop by to grab my self-birthday gift...but times 10,000.
But really, why stop with one car when you can have two? Tyga gave Kylie a second car, a 2017 Mercedes Maybach valued just a few grand below her one-of-a-kind Land Rover.
Castle Bounce House
Cost: $75 a day
Shopify sent the self-proclaimed "King Kylie" a castle of her own. If you want one, L.A.-based Magic Jump Rentals offers them for $75 a day, $15 delivery fee not included. At that cost, sure, plenty of birthday girls can afford to be king.
What's a 19th birthday without limited-edition, gold-flecked makeup? The whole set was offered as a bundle on Kylie's website for $195 — and promptly sold out.
Okay, we really have no idea what Alexander Wang sent Kylie (with a handwritten note!), but, given the price tag of his ready-to-wear, and the fact that there are three boxes, we guess its value is easily in the quadruple digits.
A custom Snapchat filter might, surprisingly, be the easiest thing for the rest of us to snap up. You can create a custom Snapchat filter, for up to 50,000 square feet, for less than $10 a day. Of course, that doesn't include the cost of a custom design (though Snapchat offers templates for free) — or roaming data for your phone if you happen to be celebrating in Turks and Caicos.
Private Yacht In Turks & Caicos
Cost: $4,000/Day
This, of course, is where Kylie celebrated her actual birthday on August 10. While we don't know where Kylie's chartered boat came from, one yacht company we spoke with told us its rates start at $4,000 for an all-day rental. Practically a steal, when you consider that includes lunch.
Kylie capped off her birthday celebration with a surprise fireworks show courtesy of her sister, Kendall. While we've never purchased a fireworks show of our own, once again we had to do a little internet research to figure out what a private show would cost. According to one Fox Business report from a few Independence Days back, smaller shows typically run anywhere from $2,000-$7,000.
Photo: Via Kylie Jenner/Snapchat.
Happy & Having Fun
Cost: Priceless
Of course, there are some things you can't put a price tag on. Like the feeling you get when the latest Snapchat filter makes your skin look perfectly highlighted no matter where you are.
Now, the only question is: How is Kylie going to top this next year?
His latest effort dissects the ways we live online for good, bad, and strange. He's given his take on Pokémon Go ("When two persons in search of a pokémon clash at the corner of Sunset and San Vicente is there violence? Is there murder?") and rescued Joaquin Phoenix from lighting a deadly cigarette.
Here's just a small sample of Herzog's commentary.
“Now is that real Donald Trump or is it fake Donald Trump?" Herzog narrates. "That's an interesting thing that the internet can create doppelgangers easily. The most interesting thing for me as a storyteller is, something that I always keep saying: In a movie, yes, you do have a story and you develop a story, but at the same time you have to be very careful and think about and organise a parallel story. A separate independent story that only occurs in the collective mind of the audience."
Herzog says Kanye's rap is key to creating that story.
"When you hear the rap, which is very well done, all of a sudden it gives him more time than anything else just to reflect on it. This video gives you space for creating your separate parallel story and you keep thinking. Are these people for real? Are they doppelgangers? What could be the story of them? What are they doing? How have they partied? What brought them together?"
As a young woman living in the UK right now, I spend a lot of time confused about my finances.... To the extent that, often, I just avoid dealing with them all together. And apparently I’m not alone; recent study found that 83% of women would like to become more engaged with their finances, but 8/10 are uncomfortable discussing it with even their close friends and family.
Worryingly, we're also saving less than men – typically, 38% less – and a woman’s average retirement income is likely to be around £5,000 a year lower than a man’s. With women living around four years longer, we actually need to find an additional £100,000 for a retirement income of £25,000 a year.
So, how can we swot up on planning for the future, on interest rates and the benefits of ISAs?
Sarah Pennells, founder of money tips website SavvyWoman, believes that the financial services industry just isn’t providing for women properly as is. “When I was launching SavvyWoman I was told by more than one investment company that ‘women don’t invest’ and that their customers were men,” Pennells told Refinery29. “That, to me, speaks volumes about their lack of success in engaging with women, not women’s lack of interest in investing.”
As a result, the CMA have proposed what they call an ‘Open Banking Programme’ – a central feature of which is an app that will show customers which banks can offer them the best accounts, based on their borrowing patterns.
The CMA hopes these moves will make the industry more competitive. But Boring Money founder Holly Mackay echoes popular opinion when she says it just doesn’t go far enough. “Unfortunately, the banking sector too often gives off the impression of being one great big cartel, acting exclusively in its own interests rather than those of its customers” says Mackay. “I'm not sure the results of this enquiry will necessarily change that very much."
But while fans of the reforms are praising the CMA’s call for a ‘banking revolution', the real revolution is happening elsewhere – outside the heavily regulated, giant conglomerates that are the high street banks. Enter the ‘challenger’ banks.
Before 2013, no bank had been granted a licence in the UK for a hundred years. But thanks to the loosening of regulatory requirements, fourteen start-ups have obtained licences in the last three years. One of these newbies is Starling Bank who, like their fellow contenders, are promising to transform banking as we know it.
In doing this, they’re aiming to tackle the country-wide problem of disengagement. “Our research tells us that people of all genders, age ranges and backgrounds want to be more engaged with their finances,” says Starling’s CEO Anne Boden.
“What our research has shown though is that in households, between couples or even flat-mates, women are most often in charge of managing the budget,” she continues. “And for that reason, you could extrapolate that trying to manage your own personal financial health, alongside a household’s, would involve added pressure.”
Mackay touches on another reason why women might be banking differently to men. “I think women want to get more on top of their finances because – typically – we take more career breaks and earn less,” she says. “So we’re starting from behind when it comes to investing. And I think we get that moment in our 40s where we’re old enough to be “doing something” but also old enough to feel a sense of shame that we haven’t done it sooner. So we stick our heads in the sand and hope that it will go away!”
Caroline Evans, Content Marketing Manager at Money Farm, has a similar point of view, but is firm that the responsibility still lies with us as individuals. “People will argue that the industry should do more for the consumer. But ultimately it’s your wealth, it's your financial well being, and you should take control of that,” she says, while acknowledging that, "historically, it hasn’t been very easy to do that.” Which is where the challenger banks come back in, along with the multiple other fintech startups like Money Farm who are attempting to humanise banking.
And beyond the opportunity for fintech to transform our relationship with money? Well, there are much wider social implications of these transformations both at home and abroad. Economists say financial services like savings accounts, insurance or loans are just as important to escaping poverty as improved agriculture and education. Fintech could help women all over the world find their own independence. In some places it’s already starting to happen. "The World Bank has a financial inclusion strategy designed to improve women's access to financial services,” offers Mackay.
“It has found that in countries such as Pakistan, access to loans often have to be signed off by a male relative,” she elaborates. “It has helped women across the world gain independent access to financial services. This is vitally important: UN Women has found that giving women control of a greater share of household income, changes spending in ways that benefit children."
From making expert financial advice available to everyone, to giving women living in poverty direct access to savings accounts through their mobile phones, we are on the brink of a revolution that will improve women’s lives everywhere.
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You know how very often the book is better than the blockbuster franchise, but no one will listen – because who's got time for a slow-burner when you can have all the fireworks of the IMAX cinema and, well, no one can hear you over the surround-sound system anyway? The same could be said of the cultural snobbery that the handjob so often receives. Why, when at its core, it's just as skilful a practice as fellatio, does the "handjob" find itself so far down on the menu of sexual favours?
Fellatio has been comparatively celebrated in pop culture, from Ray Liotta's kitchen-head in Goodfellas via D'angelo's thinly veiled ode to the blowie in the sensational "How Does It Feel?" music video, we've been conditioned to consider dirty knees a sexier other-option to, well, sticky-fingers. But unlike the BJ, a handjob is a particularly stealthy and dare we say it, potentially more erotic an act. You can kiss someone whilst performing one. They can be dished out, in conjunction with the starters underneath the dining table, in the back of a cab, and enjoyed during a movie.
The thing with handjobs though, is that, much like ""fingering", it's a practice that's been renounced to the back-of-the-bike-shed of nefarious activities, reserved for those navigating puberty, along with other adolescent activities like spot-picking and Queen's chairs. Why? Well, so often it's the first of the bases that we all triumphantly reach before we take a big deep breath and go for home run. For some reason we cannot unpick the association between handjobs and our first forays into the world of sex; clunky, misguided, a little bit dry and really quite nervous. Handjobs seem unable to lose their puppy-fat. They're still understood as a synonym of inexperience.
Handjobs at their worst are rudimentary but at their best can be a one-way speeding ticket to an almighty orgasm. Not to mention the fact that a blowjob with no hands – is a no-job – am I right? One rule of thumb (and all other four fingers) is that HJs should never be a rough and ready procedure, but as sensual as a blow job can be and as erotic as full blown, knees behind your ears s-e-x ought to be too. And in order to verify this, we spoke to several men who agree that life is better when you take it by the hands...
My friend Tom who's 36 and works in advertising agrees that they're too often thought of as a teenage pastime – but, ironically, that's what he suspects arouses him when he's receiving one. "During the entirety of my first teenage relationship I subsisted on a diet of nothing but handjobs and sexual frustration. Now, I rate them very highly. In comparison to its more famous and celebrated older brother the humble handjob is all about control and domination. Every boy's been tugging away at his junk since before he can remember, it's nice handing the reigns over to someone else for a few minutes (seconds?)"
Calvin, who is 32 and works for a charity agreed with Tom. "When my girlfriend wakes me up with one it is – for whatever reason – the most exciting thing." And when I ask him why, he again goes back to the sauciness of a school frisson: "I think it's because it always takes me back to being at school and the kind of excitement of those times when you're first hooking up with girls. I'm an advocate."
Jordan who is 20 and a student enlightened me as to their stress-relieving properties: "I'm obviously more than happy to take what I'm given but, yeah, like all good things they're simple and effective and actually, weirdly, so relaxing."
According to our resident columnist on sex work, Audrey More, who has frequent clients who request a hand shandy, she thinks they're popular because "it's a more familiar and reliable way to come than a blow job." She continues: "I think everyone thinks BJs are the best thing because of their popularisation in the '90s when they became a POV porn staple."
I asked her if she had any tips (in the name of research) and she diplomatically suggested it's different for everyone, but that she would recommend "always using lube" and suggested: "Don't just go up and down, but twist your hand as you go, tapering it on the tip of their dick. The motion is like easing a cork out of a champagne bottle. Keep the pace slow and steady; most people prefer a slower, firmer one than anything too frantic and kinetic. And pay attention to the balls with your other hand if feasible; use your mouth on the tip whilst using your hands on the shaft, edging them up, so they're nearly coming. Then slow down to a normal pace. Also, if they're game, get some of your fingers around their butt. "
She continues: "Generally, eye contact, chat and exhibitionism, any of the above, while you're at it, helps. Also give them something visually interesting in terms of positions; so maybe try it in reverse cowgirl with your genitals nearer their face, or sitting back with your feet in their face if they're a foot guy. This is of course, all subjective."
Then she tells me something I wasn't expecting. "Most guys have foot fetishes in my experience, so if you can jimmy in a footjob, do." Come again? Yes, a handjob, but using your feet. "They're a fun alternative and can help strengthen your core muscles." But that's a story for another article...
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There is a hashtag currently trending on Twitter that, as so often happens, is bringing out the best and worst in people. It's not clear why #FeministAMovie began trending on Thursday, but it's growing increasingly popular. The idea is to change the title of the movie into a feminist statement by replacing words or making a pun.
It's a great idea. And people have been coming up with some truly awesome ones — funny, incisive, and right on the nose. Like You've Got Male Oppression or James Bond: The Spy Who Sexually Objectified Me. So please, take a moment to enjoy these gems before we address the problem at hand.
Harry Potter and the Problematic Phallic Shaped Wand. #FeministAMovie
But this is Twitter. And we all know Twitter can't have nice things without some misogynistic trolls breaking them. So, as first brought to our attention by The A.V. Club, there's a lot of sexist BS happening as well. The tweets are gross and insulting. And no, they're not even clever. We've got stuff like The Whining and When Hairy Met Sally. Women being shrill and unshaven are common themes, you'll notice.
Of course, the irony here is that the above jerks are proving the very point the hashtag intends to make. How disappointing. Just keep feministing, ladies.
